Everyone is stressed out. Everyone is busy.
Can we just - ?
People are losing their jobs. People are losing people they care about.
Wait. Hold on -
It's not an easy time right now. There is a lot going on around us that is out of our control.
Just breathe.
But what can we control?
We can control what we do. And what's the easiest thing we can do right now?
Let's just take a deep breath.
Let's just take a minute to re-center ourselves. Everyone is in a totally different place, and we don't get to see each other face-to-face like we used to, and yeah, that sucks. Some of us are moms with infants, moms with toddlers, moms with school-age kids, some of us work full-time or part-time, or we have our kids with us all the time. No matter what kind of challenge is in your house, you have something that you can do for yourself, whether it takes five minutes or fifteen. We must do this every single day.
Every night after I tell my twins it's bedtime (they don't always listen, they have selective hearing), I take my shower. My shower routine is my personal time. I lock the bathroom door. I shampoo and condition my hair. I cleanse my face. I wash my body with my favorite rose-scented body wash. When I get out, I use my favorite serum, and I put night cream on my face. Every other night I put on eye cream (because I'm getting older), and I rub lotion on my elbows, knees and hands (because it's winter) before I put on my pajamas. This ritual allows me to take deep breaths every single night. It's just me and me. The door is locked. No one can enter my bathroom to break the spell. It's my private time. When I'm finished, I feel refreshed, clean and calm. I can now check on my twins, because I know they're not asleep yet. I go into their room, and I say, "Mommy's clean," which lets them know I've showered, and the boys are happy because I'm happy. They give me bedtime hugs and we wish each other sweet dreams.
I'm willing to bet everyone has something that they do that takes them out of the bubble that is reality and we can just spend that time taking care of ourselves. I look forward to my ritual every day. Especially now, in the middle of a pandemic, where so much around us is not always good news, sometimes that little tiny bit of "me" time is something I can do for myself (and for my family) that I have total control over.
What makes you feel good? It might be as simple as having a cup of tea or coffee on your patio. It might be a 30 minute nap, or taking a walk with your dog. Whatever that thing is, do it once a day. Do it twice a day, if you can. And while you're engaging yourself in your solitary time, don't take your troubles with you. Don't think about everything that you need to get done. Think about yourself. Think about how grateful you are for your family, your job, your friends, and everything else in your life. Be happy for what's around you, what's in front of you, and enjoy the journey, no matter how small it is, because those tiny little pieces of heaven that we create for ourselves, they allow us the breathing room to be able to tackle whatever reality is throwing our way.
In terms of social distancing, everyone has a different comfort zone level, so we really need to respect each other's boundaries. I chose not to host Thanksgiving and Hanukkah like I've done in the past. While I've missed seeing family members, and so have my husband and my twins, I erred on the side of caution. Some people agreed with me, some didn't. It was my personal belief that it was not wise to have people gathered in my house this year because of the pandemic. It doesn't mean I don't care about them, but that I care enough to keep everyone safe. I know not everyone agrees with me, and that's totally fine, but I do believe we need to respect each other's boundaries - the last thing I would want to do is to make someone feel uncomfortable.
The bottom line is, let's take care of each other by taking care of ourselves. If we stay safe, respect one another, we'll get through this. I can't guarantee we'll be able to go "back to before" but the sun will rise when the pandemic is behind us. We just have to follow the social distancing & masks in public rules a little while longer. We have a vaccine. There's light at the end of the tunnel. If we focus on the good things in life, we will see the sun again. We need to find our own little treasures in the dark until it's safe to come back into the light. And we'll all be there together once again.
